I’ve applied to thousands of jobs over the past year.
Yes, you read that correctly. Thousands.
At this point, applying has become almost muscle memory. I tailor resumes. I write cover letters. I answer thoughtfully crafted questions. I submit. I wait. I repeat.
And in between all of that? Interview after interview. Some great conversations. Some promising momentum. Some moments where I genuinely thought, this might be the one.
I’ve met kind, smart, thoughtful people along the way. Hiring managers who took time to really listen. Recruiters who were encouraging and honest. Teams I could actually picture myself working with. Those moments matter. They remind me that connection still exists in this process, even when the system itself feels broken.
But I’ve also been ghosted more times than I can count.
After great interviews.
After final rounds.
After follow-ups that went unanswered.
I’ve made it to the very end of the interview processes only to be told that the role went to someone else, often because they had an internal referral. That one stings, but it’s also just reality. Networks matter. Timing matters. Sometimes it really isn’t about being better or worse, just closer.
Along the way, I’ve taken every assessment imaginable. Personality tests. CCAT tests. Skills evaluations. Values questionnaires. I’ve recorded virtual video responses to prompts, talking to my laptop like it’s a person, trying to sound natural while answering questions into the void. I’ve gotten very good at that, by the way.
And yes, I receive rejection emails every single day. Literally. Every day.
Do I take it personally anymore? Not really.
Does it still get exhausting? Absolutely.
Is this about a lack of skill or experience on my part? Maybe. But most likely, no. What I’ve learned is that this market is brutal. There are so many qualified people applying for the same roles. And when a job is remote, the competition isn’t local, it’s nationwide. Sometimes global. You’re not just up against one strong candidate. You’re up against hundreds.
This process has forced me to build resilience in ways I didn’t expect. To detach my self-worth from outcomes. To keep showing up even when the answer is “no” far more often than “yes.” To stay curious instead of bitter. Hopeful instead of hardened.
I’m still here. Still applying. Still interviewing. Still believing that the right fit exists somewhere in all of this noise.
If you’re in it too, I see you.
You’re not doing it wrong.
It really is just that tough right now.
And we keep going anyway.
I don’t know exactly where this search will land me yet, but I do know I’m learning how to stay resilient, curious, and open in the middle of uncertainty. For now, that’s enough.
If you’re in a similar season, you’re not alone. I’d love to hear what this search has been like for you.
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